On Bliss and Debt (NaNoWIP Excerpt)


“Bliss” is the brand of a hair dryer I had brought on a work trip with me. “Baby Bliss”, to be exact.

There comes a time in everyone’s life when the rest of their life begins anew. That time is now.

There comes a time in everyone’s life when the rest of their life begins anew. That time is now.

There comes a time in my life when the rest of my life begins anew. That time is now.

There comes a time in our life when the rest of our life begins anew. That time is now.

Time is now.

You get the picture.

It is said (by whom?) that we grow in the direction of our inquiries. I ask by whom because it is said is passive construction. I spent much of my life being taught to malign the passive construction, when at last I realized that there is truth in passive construction. There is truth in all.

Truth and trust are words that share the same first three letters.

Here, I am using my thinking brain still, yet the important thing about life is that we use our whole brains. And in fact, and in opinion, we oscillate, vibrate between thinkingfeelingbrains so much so that there is no distinction – no helpful one at least, with respect to the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth – between different types of brains. Nor bodies. Nor nothing nothing.

The whole truth has already been said and written between all beings and entities since time immemorial – that phrase even has the hackneyed tracks of Hackney Overground imprinted underneath it. Everything we ever needed to know has always been available.

Innovation – new, in? Look in. Educate. Draw out. In and out.

Like breath.

It’s funny, we talk of death. Of incarnation. Why not outcarnation?

Nae’bliss. I know you know, or you don’t know.

I feel like write or die.

There were no particular dizzying thoughts running through my mind today, this morning, as I created a cup of coffee. The Universe said, write.


What is the most important thing we need to know right now?

And so it began. A flood of dots on pages, words that brought the bought human. Everything is an empty word. It is all things, for all things are empty. Words, most of all. They are vessels acting temporarily until the true meaning of the feeling spills into helpful or unhelpful action. Action with respect to the intention that was set long, long ago. There is no future past reckoning, no come hither beckoning. There’s only the resistance and flow, existence and go, do not pass it nor amass it – even the concept of capital is an illusion, for all things perceived are illusions. What constitutes delusion? A flood. Only that.

Mysterious six- to eight-packs of protein, pathway-ing into and out of different entities. We are connected through the forces of all of the educational courses, in person or online, the late, the on time. There are words that don’t twist, they reel from the rhyme that nurseries sing. The power that the battery brings.

It’s no accident that the charger is in the other room, and that when I get back, there will be a big bloom, a plume of dots upon dots that are thoughts upon thoughts, waving into the screen.

I was mistaken. The charger was here, in a bag on the floor, that I had packed the night before. I was sent to get this book, that Vanessa recommended to me:


Robin Wall Kimmerer


Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge and the Teachings of Plants

TODO is link this too

And there is this quotation that I read – yes, the words, and now the quotation:

“Sweetgrass is best planted not by seed, but by putting roots directly in the ground. The the plant is passed from hand to earth to hand across years and generations. Its favored habitat is sunny, well-watered meadows. It thrives along disturbed edges.” Kimmerer p. 1, Braiding Sweetgrass

I feel that I am sweetgrass. I feel that I’m a free pass, a smartass, a knob that’s shiny and made of brass.

The thing about waking up into the dream is that nothing is what it seems and when you try to tell a little bird the words spit up back at you, no one but who’s there already believes the snotty sleeves of nights and days spent, gone and went, reminiscent of the song you sent in the future.

Generations is another word that has come back, the query like a ferry of sticks, loaded with bricks, where were the brick tons, the licked ones, the hot cross buns and flicked sums? Checked and loaded in the back of a van – a lorry, if you want a British story.

So back to generations as we sit with the joys and pains of nations – generations are the things that came out of generators – the maybe 19,000 of them that combined and recombined to the march of the Syrian musical piece in time that hit my eardrums like a slug to the treasure chest at the bottom of the sea, like that arial, rusted, and me, oh pheliac – what’s that, it’s not a word, that’s out of whack a mole. Otic bone, again, the nerves, and the pupil. Sight and sound engrained and the green grass grew all around.

Someone memorized the Jabberwocky and look – that’s not me, I tried once to read and write but the sight that sounded floated, grounded, walked away and then the idea never saw the light of day.


Lewis Carroll



TODO can you check that please, was it Lewis Carroll indeed?

My memory confounds me, ground and pounds me no more because here from the floor with my outstretched arms and legs I am an asterisk in the great book of life. Generations of generations, none of them anachronistic, all of them contemporaries by definition because with time, all temporary, al with it together. These Missy Elliott lyrics are like Jason’s – when you hear it, you will know.


Black Men United


U Will Know

TODO link this please, and check the spelling, Jax from the future

Imagination is our greatest gift, and those who wield it well get the long shrift. What is a shrift yesterday, but anyway, I meant – shrift is a thrift before the thrift. It’s made of rift and shit. A “hush now” followed by a pronoun.

When my palms tingle I know there’s energy flowing through them.

The questions I ask when I free write are the ones that keep me sleeping at night but wake me up in the morning before you go-go gadget NOTEBOOK!

Nothing to see here, folks, nothing profound, just some green grass that grew all around all around, just some green grass that grew all around TODO link this! The hourglass figure that physicists use for time is a circle inscribed from a different angle. I saw it on Instagram today by the Grapher. @the_grapher? TODO check this handle too.

The thing about sleep is that it is not a particularly special state, no huge difference from being asleep versus awake. The brain that maintains and contains a certain amount of mechanical buildup. We think there’s this and we think there’s that but really all there is is a rat, a vat, a cock, a monkey, a sheep, all the things like sleep and spleen and dogs and Halloween. Samhain, the coming of age of the adolescent, the phosphorescent effervescent waning crescent that goes, a decent descent into a new moon. And I look like a loony tune.

Intentions intentions, a trance-like state between sleep and wake, when words reverberate to the sound of keystrokes on a board that has keys blokes and gals put down like pals I KNOW THAT THIS MANUSCRIPT WILL NEVER BE EDITED because all the capital letters are letterbedded on letterhead, dead better said well read and all the things she bled. Once another thing has cut into the space and sliced like a razorblade, cut like a ninja, baby ice baby ice backwards TODO link the song! Keep going along and singing through the nasal cavity so that gravity can do its work with electromagnetism and van der waals forces.

There is a difference between polarity and duality, and that difference is trivial.

Think on that one a while, in style with a child whose curious wide-eyed wonder catches you off guard. That’s what it’s all about the thing that’s hard is the unexpected. They say it’s a river and I believe that it is TODO link the song! 

Sometimes the stream pauses over the friction of a boulder rubbing its shoulder against a bank. Though when I say pause, I mean the Wizerd of Oz with a misspelled first name. Can you believe that people play that game? Of course we do, because I’m me, and you’re you. The symphony we’re playing in, the space, the rest, the brass the woodwinds, the different grades and lengths of string that’s pretty much undefined, rested in the peace of mind a piece of grind a whispered earlobe sink.

Where does all the ice go when it melts, baby? Does it remind you of vanilla days and beans and gravy? Eating Thanksgiving dinner with chopsticks in Boston, Mass., kicking ass? With Dr. Strange and Jonathan – oops, that’s flipped isn’t it?

So the exchange that’s strange, the revolving door thing with sodium and potassium, you see magnesium is right next door to the right of sodium, indicated by an Na, and potassium, K, is right below the way.

Kathy, the word is in this document! The one word that unlocks the letters cascading through to slice the fetters, free the feathers, climate, purusha, no vritti – that’s just weather.

Dear Facebook,

If Kathy gives you the correct one word, and

If I have won a Nobel Prize in Physics, and

If I have the permission of the persons receiving my messages, along with the conditions they set,

Please release all the data you have to the Kathy who told me the story of Max, and Albert, and Ernest, and Marie, and their husband and wives, mothers and fathers, the things that excited and bothered them.

Let’s work something out, Facebook.

Thank you for keeping me connected to my friends and family.

Did you know that before you were born, I had an actual facebook? Yes, when I was starting college, I had a facebook. I was in it with my senior year last-minute bob, maybe. They told us where people were from, what they looked like. I might still have it somewhere. Yes, it was in print.



Dear Kathy,

The word is in this document. I’ll tell Facebook what it is. Pay particular attention to WhatsApp conversations of 2020. That’s where the money is.



Dear Nora,

Kathy is warm data in action, regularly, with all of her videos. Bruce Lipton, Geoffrey West, they are warm data with their books. Lisa Feldman Barrett TODO can we please check the spelling of her name, Jax? Is warm data. Scientists who put the I back in science when they report their experiments and results are warm data.



Dear Alex,

Everyone is a scientist, especially you.



There. The flood seems to have run its course, and the dream-like state is over for now. I wonder how many words that was. It’s 4 in the morning, no rain is pouring TODO link the song!

There’s another segment to be written, in the Sasha-Jax Word Sprint System Style 2. Time, time, there’s always time keeps on ticking into the future TODO link the song!!

Giving 5 Ways: Way 4: Pre-Forgiven Debt Instrument to Any Type of Entity

What is a debt?

In honor of David Graeber, the late economist, I start with this modality. What did I learn from reading his book, Debt TODO: link this and thank you David, so far? I am very early in it, as I seem to be reading about 30 books at the same time, mostly starting them. The introductions of things are the most illuminating when you’re a generalist reassembly agent.

Debt, basically, is a thing that is a placeholder for control and the threat of violence against the borrower. It has been this at its genesis (I have to say that obviously any misinterpretations of debt are mine, not David’s fault, and I have to beg forgiveness to you if I’ve mangled this.) and continues to be so in manifold forms today. That’s as far as I got from David’s book.

The biggest debt we owe is to ourselves.

In finance, big old debt instruments are legal documents. They are pages and pages long with definitions and covenants and triggers and terms – terms of payment, principal, interest, amounts. In finance, debt instruments can be as simple as a scrap of paper that says “IOU” on it, or it can be as formal as contracts. In life, debts can be verbal and live in the memories of the debtor and debt… what is the word for – ah! Creditor. Credence. To believe in.

As a note of note, taxes – taxes were first levied on people to state-build and wage war. More violence. Thanks to Sabanci University (was it Sabanci?) lectures on Comparative Political Systems on YouTube, which I listened to while cooking, when I was pregnant years ago. At university, Mr. Bailey taught us CPS, and Neil borrowed my notes and noted that I did not have a (the notes were in a physical notebook, it was 1999) single consistent spelling of “bureaucracy”. That is telling of how a language develops.

All of that was a long, long time ago, the genesis stories of debt and taxes.

Notice how the saying does NOT go “debt and taxes”, but “death and taxes”. (Nor does it say “death and taxis”, which I kept hearing in Fontainebleau whenever I was taking finance classes. “Taxis”, say that out loud with a French accent.” Love it.)

If I have learned anything in my academic and professional experience in finance, my True Love, it’s that anything goes! It’s about the relationships between people and the words that go on paper around this relationship. 

Therefore, engineering a (simple, a.k.a. Easy AF) pre-forgiven debt instrument is totally possible.

Step 1: Does a Simple Pre-Forgiven Debt Instrument Already Exist?

Maybe I’ll reconsider that header.

Q1: Does an Easy AF Pre-Forgiven Debt Instrument Already Exist?

I’m not talking about a gift. This instrument has to go through the process of lending, then forgiving debt. I’m talking here not about a financing instrument, but a healing instrument. There is a handy acronym I have learned from the cryptocurrency space (tech, but my way into this concept was researching crypto) and that is: AFAIK: As Far As I Know. It encapsulates in five simple words the notion that I know something, but I know that I don’t know everything. So if you’ve got further information, please share.

AFAIK is Word signaling “I’m knowledgeable and open to updating that knowledge”

AFAIK, no. One does not exist. If ones does, please let me know.

Q2: Oh… wait.

Oh, here’s a note before proceeding: I’m riffing off of the Six-Question PS Query System now, and enfolding it in a research question activity.

The Six-Question PS Query System

  1. What is the dream?
  2. What does success look like?
  3. What is the genesis?
  4. Who
  5. Why
  6. When

But then let’s put that in a burger bun:

0. Does it exist?

And at the end add another question. Like:

7. What’s the immediate next step?

Or maybe simply add a question

4. Does it exist?

To the middle.

Because we don’t want to stifle the dream. The Dream is the key here – everyone’s dream is different. This is why the question of whether the thing is or is not yet is not a deal-breaker. This inquiry may branch into another set of questions in a side-meander of innovation. New in. In New. New within?

Runningcommentary: I really find the issue of whether something is an innovation or not a non-helpful line of inquiry. In getting stuck arguing whether something is new or not, we stifle and limit that underlying idea’s growth. Is it worth our breath budget? This is the main question for every thought, really, that we have the potential to pursue. Every line we write. Is the writing worth our breath budget? The more we think and write a line of inquiry, the more real we make it. This can be used for helpful or unhelpful reasons, or rather causes. I remember reading Beyond Good and Evil TODO link this and thank Nietszche! When I was in my late teens or early twenties, and really honestly now other than ubermensch the thing that has stuck is (1) the title, in English (2), the word ubermensch, and (3) how its message is controversial because of how it was used to propagate the infliction of pain on many, many people.

So this feels like a good working hypothesis of questions to move forward with:

[YIH] Your Idea Here in Seven Questions v0.5

  1. Dream? What is the dream? What is the gift?
  2. Success? What does success look like?
  3. Genesis? What is the genesis?
  4. [One word here]? Does it already exist? If so, loop answering questions 5-7 for a maximum of 5 times, then for the 6th answer the questions for Your Idea Here.
  5. Who? Who will work on creating the gift? Who is the gift to be used by? Who will resource it?
  6. Why? Why are you working on it? Why would the receiver of your gift want it? Why would the resourcer want to resource it?
  7. When? When will it start and when will it finish? What signals the start? What signals the finish?

That feels like something flexible to work with. It can be used both in the competitive and collaborative contexts. It’s a little hairy, but maybe here’s a cleaned-up version:

[YIH] Your Idea Here in Seven Questions v1.0

  1. What is the dream?
  2. What does success look like?
  3. What is the genesis?
  4. Does it already exist?
  5. Who?
  6. Why?
  7. When?

Let’s get a little bit meta, now, are you ready? Are you with me?

I’ve always found it helpful to field test. This is what top-down – to bottom-up thinking is in practice, for me. Wave thinking. Theory-Data Point-Theory-Data Point. Wave, hi!

TEST: [YIH] Your Idea Here in Seven Questions for [YIH] Your Idea Here in Seven Questions

Runningcommentary: Do you see how the Header 1 on “Giving 5 Ways…” is now nesting this loop of an idea? Old Me would have tried to go back and fix that cognitively, but what I’m doing here is leaving the Header 1 as “Giving 5 Ways…” and either come back to that or not. What has happened is that the seed of a Very Important Idea got sown in the pursuit of “Giving 5 Ways…”, and instead of weeding it out, I’m letting it grow. Let’s see what happens…

Runningcommentary: What I HAVE gone back and done is fixed the numbering of the v1.0 list of seven questions. This is because we have to sometimes put clarity first – clarity gets primacy when I’m working on a framework upon which the more important words will hang. The framework I will call perhaps scaffolding here.


Tanja K


The scaffolding concept and link when we started ICAN, where I also first discovered Gregory Bateson TODO find this link and put it here!

[YIH] Your Idea Here

1. What is the dream?

That all creator entrepreneurs have a bridge from wispy idea scribbles to a properly-resourced project without expending excess energy on trying and erring pathways to funded projects.

2. What does success look like?

Shiny, happy creatorprenerus.

3. What is the genesis?

I have emerged from a lifetime of being stuck in notebooks and now I am flourishing – getting things out there and on the cusp of being a shiny, happy creatorpreneur. I want to share my experience as a caring creative, accountant, and finance professional all rolled into one because I know there is at least one other person out there like me, and I love him, so I want this to be something that is potentially useful to him, and something that we can potentially develop together.

4. Does it already exist?

Not in this form that I know of. This is seven questions that is based on questions from individuals seasoned in entrepreneurship and investment, with incisive views into the world of giving and experience in supporting the arts. These questions are designed at the outset to lead directly and smoothly into a business plan that will naturally incorporate an operational and financial plan based on the EasyAFIntro methodology.

These simple 7 questions form a Tesseract from Dream to Reality, and AFAIK, there is none yet that exists.


Meg Lightheart


Bringing myself, and the word “Tesseract” back into my life

If you know of any, please let me know!

5. Who?

This Tesseract is for humans who feel creativity bursting out of them, but struggle to give their fountain of Dreams a fighting chance to reach Reality As We Know It. Creatives who excel at the dream and idea, but struggle with the business planning, modeling, and administration to ground their ideas.

So far, I am the only one working on it explicitly, but there are many, many people helping me with this implicitly.

This does not require any funding because it’s a list that anyone can use. I don’t care who you are, where you’re from, don’t care what you did, as long as you don’t mind that I love the Backstreet Boys.

6. Why?

My molecules are screaming out for this Tesseract to form. Maybe yours are too. If so, contact meh.

7. When?

Right here, right now. Any day, every day.

TODO THANK YOU all the songs linked above!

Ah, The Boss is singing, time to start the morning!

Debt will have to wait until a future iteration of our Self.

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